Conversations With My Brother

[After overhearing some guy let out a huge belch while having kuay thiew at a roadside vendor]
JASON: Man, I can never burp.
LYNN: What are you talking about? Everyone can burp. Even babies can burp.
J: Nuh-uh. I can't.
L: Yes you can, dimwit. I used to burp you when you were a baby. Sometimes you'd hurl all over my shoulder, too.
J (shaking head): Not anymore, I can't.
L: Well, next time you feel a rush of gas coming up your esophagus, let it out.
J: I can't. Whenever a rush of gas comes up my esophagus, it ends up getting pushed back down and out my ass.

[At Foodland]
J: Why do they put the sanitary napkins and tampons next to the dog food?
L: For continuity.
J: What do you mean?
L: Because we women can be total bitches during that time of month. I thought you should know that by now.

[A week ago, while sitting around completely bored out of our skulls during a wedding reception at the Oriental Hotel]
J (completely out of the blue): Would you rather sh*t at the Den Chai train station in Prae province or on the train?
L: At the train station, of course.
J: Why?
L: Because I wouldn't want to sh*t on a rocking toilet.
J: But if you were to sh*t at the train station, you'd have to pay 2 baht just to use the toilet. I know it's only 2 baht, but why should they charge you for your sh*t. Sh*t isn't worth that much, not even my sh*t.
L: No sh*t, sherlock.

NOTE: This last conversation was held while sitting at a table with a well-known khun ying with gravity-defying hair. Later, while slipping away to the ladies' room to give my numb face a break from smiling at yet another stranger I "just had to meet," I was surprised to learn that the person barking on her cell phone whilst taking a dump in the last stall was none other than the khun ying. This isn't the first time I've encountered such a thing, but still I found it rather ironic that this should happen mere minutes after holding a conversation about, well, sh*t.

*****
Currently Reading: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. This fantastic book now joins the ranks as one of my all-time favorite books ever. I don't know why I waited so long to getting around to reading it; after all, the premise is brilliant, the issues complex, and at the very heart of it all is a riveting, evocative and incredibly poignant story. Never before has a book made me weep so (well, maybe The Time Traveler's Wife, but still). Though this novel is marketed as YA, I highly recommend it to everyone and anyone of all ages. Go ahead and read an excerpt to get a taste. If this story doesn't touch you in some way, then all I have to say is that you, my friend, have a heart of stone.

Currently Playing: Collide by Howie Day. I drove my brother insane playing Collide on repeat the entire day yesterday, a weird habit I tend to have whenever I get all OCD about a certain song (pretty often). This is one of the prettiest songs I've heard in a long while and is very reminiscent of Damien Rice's radio remix version of Cannonball, another tres beautiful song.

Currently Banging: The keyboard, you perverts. On a whim, I joined NaNoWriMo again this year to see if I could bang out 50,000 words by the end of November. I've got 25,007 words so far, so I think I'm doing okay. I just have to bang out another 25,000 words, somewhere in between the exams on MY BIRTHDAY and the 26th, the four days spent entertaining family friends of ours who will be in T-Land from the 18th-22nd, and THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE THAT HITS THAILAND ON THE 17TH!!!!! GAH. Either everything will work out and I'll pull a total Wonderwoman act this month, or I'll go completely insane. We'll see which happens first...

Currently Pining Over: The new Pride and Prejudice movie. It's already out in the US, so GET YOUR ASSES TO THE THEATER, AMERICA. In the meantime, I must impatiently wait two more agonizing months for dear Mr. Darcy. :( I could download the film off bittorrent, but... No. Must. Resist. Urge, even though I'm dying to see the much talked about first proposal scene. Oooh.