Saturday, July 16, 2005

To Whom it May Concern (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Hits BKK)

To the Boy Standing Behind Me As We Waited in Line For Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at Central Chidlom's B2S:

Hi, remember me? I was the person standing in front of you and your mom at the line at Central Chidlom, aka the person you referred to oh so eloquently as "that old person."

THAT OLD PERSON!

Now, I do realize that at the age of 10, anyone above the mighty age of 20 might come across as older. However, note I use the word older here, for while I am certainly much older than your tender 10 years, I must also note that I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT OLD!!!!

I mean, since when is 22 old???? Huh? HUH?

HUH????

Now, I also realize that, when you referred to me as such, you might have been trying to make a point to your otherwise very unenthusiastic mom, someone who apparently does not seem to appreciate the joy of reading, nor the joy of all things magical and Harry Potter-esque (and I feel for you here, I really, honestly do). That, however, does NOT give you the right -- in my book, at least -- to go around pointing at random people and be all, "See Mom? Even THAT OLD PERSON is buying Harry Potter. I told you OLD PEOPLE like to read Harry Potter, too."

!!!!!!!!!!

And by the way, I find it really sad that your mom should think that reading about magical creatures and magical worlds is nothing but a "waste of time and money." Do keep in mind that it is only because of your mother's obviously very negative attitude towards books and reading that I have looked deep within my heart and chosen to forgive you, despite your not-so-cool faux pas.

Unsincerely yours,
Lynn

~*~


To the Group of Loud Gossip Girls Standing in Front of Me as We Waited in Line:

Though you lot didn't refer to me as old, ancient, decrepit, or anything else of that category (and for that, I am grateful), I, however, cannot say you were much nicer than the "that old person!" boy.

First of all, it's not really nice to talk about other girls at your school and refer to them as "fat bitches." So maybe the FBs have crushes on your boyfriend, who, according to your posse of girlfriends, is "like, sooo hot," but I still don't think it's very nice of you girls to go around planning ways to "get back at those fat bitches" for simply admiring your boyfriend from afar.

I mean, I may not have been in high school for about five years now, but whatever happened to us girls sticking together, huh? The Immaculate Sisterhood and all that?

Secondly, as much as I love the color pink, I do not think it makes for very nice eyeshadow, even if it DOES match your hot-pink spaghetti strap top and the "yo bitch!" imprints on your six-inch long stretch mini-skirt. Oh, and a friendly word of advice -- you know, sister to sister -- ten layers of eyeshadow -- regardless of the color -- never did any girl any good.

Of course, if you want to be mistaken for a Patpong go-go bar girl, then hey, I say, GO FOR IT!

Alas, perhaps the biggest blow of all was when I learned at the end of your little girl talk episode that you -- of all places -- currently attend the high school I once did.

I am ashamed and appalled to see my fellow alma mater sisters acting in such a way.

ASHAMED AND APPALLED.

Shamefully yours,
Lynn

~*~


To the Boy Who, in a Flurry of Excitement Upon Purchasing His Copy of HP&HBP, Turned to the End of the Book, Audibly Gasped, and Announced For All to Hear WHO WAS GOING TO DIE AT THE END OF THE BOOK:

You know, that wasn't a very cool thing to do. No, not very cool at all.

It is because of you that my reading experience for the sixth Harry Potter book has now been ruined -- RUINED!!! Now, as I morosely flip through the seventh chapter, where I left off at to write this here entry, all I can think about is your tearful -- yet oddly jubilant-sounding -- voice crying out, "******** dies!!!" (Note to any HP readers: the number of asteriks hold absolutely no meaning whatsoever, so even if they happen to coincidentally match up with a character's name, like, say, Buckbeak, do keep in mind that I just punched in any random number of asteriks and that they hold NO MEANING AT ALL.)

Now why would you do that? WHY???

I guess I don't have much to say to you...

Other than YOU SUCK.

Scathingly yours,
Lynn

~*~


To the Group of Teenage Girls Dressed Up in Witch Hats, Who Came Armed With Truckloads of Harry Potter Memorabilia and Daniel Radcliffe Fan Zines:

You guys were kind of cute, mostly because you remind me of myself when I was 14 and very much head-over-heels in love with a certain band.

However, I do hope you don't wear Harry Potter shirts on a regular basis, because as cute as Daniel Radcliffe is in that pre-teen, geeky, pasty-faced sort of way, he doesn't look all that nice with his face stretched clean across your burgeoning chest, which, I must sadly say, is probably much larger than mine will ever be.

But never mind me.

Also, the large lightning bolt scar you drew with eyeliner across your foreheads is also very impressive and telling of your love and dedication to all things Harry Potter-related, and is indeed something I think is very creative, especially since our favorite hero has one, too. I do think, however, that there IS a limitation to how far you should go with the eyeliner, unless, of course, you're Johnny Depp channelling Captain Jack Sparrow, in which case I say, By all means, do wear all the eyeliner you want.

I mean, simply put, drawing lightning bolts across every last square inch of your face is not cool. Nor is drawing them across your arms, because then you just look like an over-tattooed, slightly off-his-rocker, washed-up rock star from the 80's. And that is not a very nice look to aspire to when you are a glowing and youthful 14-year-old.

Anyway, your enthusiasm was very cute nonetheless, and excessive and misdirected eyeliner or not, I would so much rather hold a conversation with you than the aforementioned Loud Gossip Girls.

Sincerely yours,
Lynn

~*~


To the Way Adorable Girl at the Table Next to Ours at Starbucks, Who Spent the Morning Explaining to Her Mom and Dad Why Harry Potter is So Cool:

Now YOU are too cute for words. When I have kids one day, I want them to be exactly like you.

Not only did you not once refer to me as "that old person," but you didn't reveal who dies at the end of the book and didn't call a single one of the girls at your school a fat bitch. Kudos to you.

Plus, your parents knew all about Hogwarts and every single last Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, which, I must say, is indeed very commendable. And as if that wasn't cool enough already, your mother -- who, from the sound of things -- seems to have a sort-of-crush on Alan Rickman's version of Severus Snape. So kudos to your parents, too!

Admiringly yours,
Lynn

~*~


Regardless of the Big-Mouthed, Ending-Revealing boy, I refuse to let him take away from my HP&HBP reading experience; I am happily reading away about Harry, Hogwarts and all that good stuff. Also, as if finally being able to hold the book in my greedy little hands wasn't cool enough already, I was also given -- compliments of B2S -- a Harry Potter shirt that will most likely never be worn outside the confines of my house, and a free frap from Starbucks. Thanks, B2S!

Currently Playing: Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve.

Currently Reading: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling, of course. Six books on and still this series remains one of my most loved ever.

22 Comments:

At Sunday, July 17, 2005 10:39:00 AM, Blogger naeglerian said...

This post is hilarious. I've never read the HP books, but I guess I will someday (if not the entire volumes, just the endings...just kidding!)

The weird thing about your post, or about me, actually, is while reading about the girls from your alma mater, I was trying to translate "fat b.." from my shamefully adequate knowledge of improper Thai. Sadness.

 
At Sunday, July 17, 2005 10:41:00 AM, Blogger naeglerian said...

PS. If you're old, then I should start drawing on my Social Security pension and join the AARP. Might as well get some dentures while I'm at it. Sheesh.

 
At Sunday, July 17, 2005 11:46:00 AM, Blogger Lynn said...

Heh, the sad thing is that because my school was an international school, those alma mater sisters of mine weren't saying Fat B in Thai, but rather Fat B in, well, English. =X At first I was really surprised at the amount of Thai kids who were out buying HP&HBP yesterday (seeing as how it was the English version and all), but in the end it turns out that most of them were all international school kids.

Maybe I should get denture myself; I could use them to throw at the "you're so old!" boy. ;P

 
At Sunday, July 17, 2005 12:21:00 PM, Anonymous him said...

Wow, bad day huh? Lesson to be learned here: queuing up for new things isn't always worth it! :)

And if you are old, I must be *dead*.

Sigh.

:D

 
At Sunday, July 17, 2005 2:23:00 PM, Blogger no-i said...

lol... seems like quite an interesting line you were in. :) Was this at the very moment the book hit the shelf? Anyway, I'm in SF right now, and I just grabbed the book from the first bookstore I saw that actually still had it left... so, I ended up having to pay full price for it and all, as opposed to saving 40-something% if i had ordered it from amazon.com......... But oh well, I really wanted to read this on the plane on my way back home, so I'm willing to dish out that amt of $$$ :P

But anyway, at least I didn't have to wait in line where there apparently seems to be a lot more drama than I would expect. :) Well, and at the very least, I didn't learn the ending of the book from some loud-mouth kid... Now I'm trying my best to keep my hands off the book until I board the 12-hour plane on Monday night... That's gonna be hard to do. :P I'm already so curious about what'd happen.

enjoy your HP na ja... and don't listen to that kid... you're definitely not old. =)

 
At Monday, July 18, 2005 12:53:00 AM, Blogger james said...

Good Post Lynn. LOL FB's.
I happened to go to the bookstore to pick up this month's travel and lesire magazine(My fav place, Acadia was ranked 10th best island in the world and I wanted to see what they had to say.)

Anyways this was Saturday morning which I am guessing was a bad time as there was a huge line.

 
At Monday, July 18, 2005 12:03:00 PM, Anonymous pan said...

hahaha nice one...

i can't relate to what it's like having a little brat spoil the ending of a book i intend to read because i'm illiterate. so i'll have to vicariously experience it through your post. ;)

 
At Monday, July 18, 2005 10:50:00 PM, Anonymous Arwen said...

Hehe... laughed my lil behind off when I was reading this blog... how sad that our alma mater can produce such ditzy girls... :)
Anyway, I didn't get the chance to get the book yet. Every bookstore here seems to have sold out (at least when I checked on Saturday afternoon). Well, do tell me who dies... I can't stand the suspense!

 
At Tuesday, July 19, 2005 2:30:00 PM, Blogger nash said...

My heartfelt sympathy for the things you had to go through to get your hands on the latest Harry Potter's adventure.

But you do have such a good heart. If I overheard a boy categorizing me as "old," I would promptly use that "Livrcorpus" spell or whatever it was to hang him upside down in midair!

I sort of expected that kind of line so I reserved my copy in advance with Emporium's Asia Books. On that day, I used some kind of charm from Hogwarts' old textbook to send someone to pick up for me first thing in the morning. Then I apparated myself to pick up the copy in the afternoon.

Well, must admit I'm actually too old to entertain the thrill of standing in line and get to read it in the 1st hour of its worldwide launch. :-P

Well, I finish it already and couldn't wait to hear what you think about it, Lynn. :) And don't worry, beside the death of certain main character, there's not much else for me to give away to you now. So basically you're safe!

By the way, have you ever let the online Sorting Hat sorted out for your which house you would have been in? I did it a few years back at the official site! The reason I asked is because I bought two Hogwarts' textbooks penned by JK Rowling for charit. One is about Quidditch, the other is about magical creatures and where to find them. If you're in the same House as I do, I could lend the textbooks to you, Lynn! :)

Time to have my chocolate frog. Take care! :)

 
At Wednesday, July 20, 2005 5:56:00 PM, Anonymous Poeh said...

too bad nobody stupified the boy when he was shouting who died. ;)

I on the other hand always have this bad habit to peak if the book as a happy ending or not, but wont spoil for the ones who doesnt want to know.

Rowling did a great job! i found book 6 really good. not the best book, but definitely the best sequel.

 
At Friday, July 22, 2005 2:23:00 AM, Anonymous Ton said...

Khun Lynnnnnn!

Long time no see, dear friend. Good to see you back to your blogging ways. I prefer reading your blogs over Harry Potter any day. Damnit! Don't tell me what happens in the next post!!! GAAASSP!

Anyhoo... how's things coming along with work school and the novel these days. NOOOO WAAIIIT... are they in earlier postings?! DON'T TELL ME!!!

Just thinking of ya...

Ton

 
At Saturday, July 23, 2005 5:03:00 PM, Blogger Oui said...

LOL ไม่ได้อ่านของลินมานานแล้วตลกเหมือนเดิม ลินไม่แก่นะ จริงๆ

อุ้ยไม่ค่อยได้อ่านแฮรี่ จริงๆจังๆ เท่าไหร่ ชอบอ่านแต่ตอนท้ายของหนังสือ (อ่านจากเนท)

ทำไมไม่ค่อยมีคนชอบอ่านหนังสือของไทยเลย พวกรามเกียร สินสมุทร อะไรประมาณนั้น อุ้ยก็ไม่เคยอ่านเหมือนกันแหละ 555 เพราะเป็นพวกกลอน แปลไม่ออก น่าจะทำหนังสือให้น่าสนใจเหมือนแฮรี่เนอะ

ปล. ตอนเด็กๆ ลินน่ารักดี :)

 
At Wednesday, July 27, 2005 8:38:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol! Khun Lynn, yo umade me very very afraid to ever go to Bangkok and get caught in line with Thai kids haha. I really don't wanna hear what they'd say. Great post!

-Pam

 
At Friday, August 05, 2005 12:36:00 AM, Anonymous Flubby said...

Lame post.
HP is for Kids!

 
At Monday, August 08, 2005 9:26:00 PM, Anonymous Swita said...

Hey Lynn, it's Swita. I LOVE your entries-- you're a great voice for all Thai-Americans or Thai expats out there. Do keep us dated on the status of your chick lit novel--- I need something after Becky Bloomwood goes away :)

 
At Monday, August 08, 2005 9:57:00 PM, Anonymous Swita said...

Lynn I added your blog to mine, so i have easier access to it :) Swita

 
At Saturday, August 13, 2005 1:14:00 PM, Blogger bluebbird said...

so sad really!!! at least you got your book right?? dont feel too bad about your high school. while ive noticed the changes, ive just officially learned that my high school has since gone down the gutter. it must be because we left those schools huh???

oh yea.... ive switched over to the dark side and joined in... blogger not verizon that is

 
At Saturday, August 13, 2005 1:23:00 PM, Blogger bluebbird said...

oh yea... its may by the way.

 
At Saturday, August 20, 2005 4:14:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey lynnnn.... wow.. its been a super duper long time since we have been in touch, but im so happy to have found your blog! you are still a great writer like you have always been, and the way you write.. wow...let me know if you get stuff published ok? heehee...so you have graduated!! very very belated congrats to you...whats up with you now? i hope all goes well ok? you make me wana geta blog too..but kinda shy..ahhaa.. i dont write as well...hahhaha... keep posted ok? and keep in touch! take care lynn!!! :)

..miss yah-- alice

 
At Monday, August 29, 2005 4:49:00 PM, Blogger jeremy said...

hi lynn! i found a proxy that works (for now) here in china so i thought i'd stop by and see how you're doing. hope the book is going well for ya!

take care!

 
At Monday, September 05, 2005 10:37:00 PM, Blogger Lynn said...

Him: Heh, yeah, when the next HP book comes out, I'm ordering it over the Net. Or I'll send my brother to buy it. Apparently he's not old yet.

Noi: So what'd you think of HBP?

James: Acadia deserved that slot, because telling from the pics you post on your page, Acadia is one of the most stunning places on earth!

Pan: Glad to be of service. :)

Arwen: Sigh, I guess we can't blame them for their bitchery; they don't have us stellar roon pi's to look up to anymore... ;)

Nash: Aww, thanks! But I think I already have the books. It's the green and red ones, right? They were a fun read, especially the one on magical creatures. I tried the online sorting hat aaages ago...I got placed in Gryffindor. :)

Poeh: I definitely enjoyed HBP more than I did OOTP, but my fave HP book is probably GOF. Thanks for the stupefying tip; will make sure to do so to any annoying brats when the next book comes out!

Khun Tonnnnnnn! Aw, long time no see, indeed! How are things in NYC?

Oui: ใช่ น่าจะมีหนังสือไทยที่น่าสนใจกว่านี้ให้เด็กไทยอ่านเนอะ ลินน์เคยพยายามอ่านรามเกียร แต่ oh god, อ่านภาษา french ยังคงอ่านรู้เรื่องกว่าอีก...

Pam: Thanks :)

Swita: Aww thanks, Tweet. So glad you've joined the blogosphere; I've added your blog to my daily bloghops!

May: Yeah, high school really does look different once you leave, huh? Glad you've joined the dark side. ;)

Alice!! Oh man, I haven't heard from you since high school! How are you? I'm so glad you managed to find me!

Jeremy: Thanks! And good luck to you too on your movie script! How's it going, by the way?

 
At Saturday, September 10, 2005 12:13:00 AM, Blogger nash said...

So good to see you back! I thought we wouldn't see you again until you graduate from Dental School! :)

Wow! So we are (would have been) in the same House, Gryffindor! Cool!

Yes, the books are red and green. Strange. That's how i remember them, too. And don't ask me which is which. I think the Ravenclaw is the House with the highest academic prowess. :)

 

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